The cool metal of the pen
rests against my fingers.
Sunlight falls across my arm, but not warm enough to heal me.
Silent headphones placed in my ears echo the silence that is not peace
in my innermost thoughts.
My decisive soul is still assaulted by the closeness, the promise of him.
He stole from me, yes, but it was nothing I didn't allow.
The outside chattering,
the dissonance of voices
from people, from the radio,
From the cell phone vibrating two inches from my hand,
reflecting silver in the sunlight...
The quiet droplets, condensing on the clear sides of the icy water.
Crystalline ice, coast down my chest:
soothe the ache I've found there.
The hurt that contracts my ribcage, making it impossible to eat.
O God, take your gentle hand
and quiet the tense silence within
to one of peace.
Shield me, protect me, guide me away from that which would steal me,
take me further away from you.
I have already renounced it and now live to serve only you.
So save me now from the poison that threatens my heart
With its sweet, insidious promises and its loving, thieving touch.
My heart aches with the threat of it.
I wish only freedom from its voice,
from its touch.
I do not wish to be so bound.
So Lord, help me fight this!
Help me use the cool steel of my pen
to cast this thing away;
Use the cool ice and the sunlight of Your touch, Your love,
to soothe and heal this pain in me.
Save me, O God. I give myself to You, and trust in Your strength
to hold me there.
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